What is this feeling?
My mind going haywire.
The music resonates
And my brain vibrates.
A neon glow, a blurry haze.
Acquaintances drift around
Pretending to be normal.
Let us embrace the abstractness
And form a gyre
Which blows away houses.
Violence.
Love.
Melancholia.
I did not expect this.
Thoughts Of A Caffeine Addict
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
21st Century Futility
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Musings during jamming
Smoke rising
Guitar strumming
Bass pumping.
I can't but I must.
Beats on eardrum
Teardrop on plectrum
Fearless on my breath
Skin, Touch, Emotion
Makes me brighter.
Fearless on my breath.
Friday, August 21, 2015
Monday, January 12, 2015
Aporia
It was a cool winter
evening. He sat alone on the bench in a garden. He was wearing a black t-shirt,
jeans and a vintage waistcoat with a shawl wrapped around his neck. He sat
smoking cigarettes; exhaling all his sorrows with the smoke. It was already the
6th day since the New Year began. He found it funny how the people
from all his previous years ceased to be a part of his life in the New Year.
That’s the thing with regrets. They collect like old friends. He flicked the
ash on the grass and saw it gyrate as it fell down; spinning out of control and
falling limply. He took another drag of his cigarette and thought about
nothing. Is it even possible to not think of absolutely nothing? The human
brain works in mysterious ways. He couldn’t think of anything worse than
growing old. He was only good at being young. He could hear himself growing
older and that scared him. He sometimes got lonely; but only around people.
What he really wanted was for someone to understand but they usually don’t. He
thought to himself, “I will have literature, poetry, art, music and adventure
in my life. And love. Love above all.” Unfortunately he was also scared of
loving someone. Maybe it wasn’t meant for him. He felt a strange sensation in
his soul when he thought he loved someone. That feeling usually led to a
formation of a void within him. It grew bigger and bigger as he got closer and
closer to people. It was a bit ironic in a way. Maybe that’s what his problem
was. He was petrified of love and to think of the fact that his life would come
to a standstill when that love was gone. What is lost is lost forever. No one
can fill that empty space, that empty gap, because each one is made up of such
specific details. It is said that one cannot find peace by ignoring life. What
if he was contempt with loneliness and did in fact find peace by ignoring life
and being on his own? He found the idea of being complete with someone to be
evil. Why couldn’t someone be happy all by themselves? He lit another cigarette
unconsciously and began to think about deep philosophical questions. What is
the meaning of life? He didn’t want to set himself on fire in order to keep
others warm and to illuminate their lives. He had stopped that long ago. That
was one thing which he learned over the years. What he needed the most was a
shoulder to lean on; someone to listen all that he felt. Not a romantic partner
per se, but anyone who would understand his dustiest and darkest corners of his
soul. Sky began to darken. The night fell silently. It was time to pack all his
thoughts and head home.
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