Act 1, Scene 1:
I’m sitting in the college in my classroom. As usual…I’m sulking about the fact that “Why-the-hell-I’m-in-Mary’s!?!?” Just then the guy I hate the most in my class (by the way…the list is really very long! :p) comes all of a sudden and sits next to me. I’ve titled this boy as “CHOCOBOY” because he keeps on spraying the Axe Dark Chocolate Deo. Now try to visualize – A very wannabe guy, millions of wrist bands on his wrist (which my ex-class teacher rightfully used to call ‘BANGLES’), the topmost button of his shirt open…trying to flaunt his body…which infact is 2-dimensional!! Wearing his pants (which can slip down at any moment!) on the groin. Dirty flashy sneakers which he thinks is very ‘KEWL’!!! Conclusion- The typical roadside ‘Kya aap mujshe Fraandship karoge?’ types!!
Chocoboy: “Arrey kya re! Tu mujhse baat kyu nahi karta?”
Me: (Trying to act normal and suppress my laughter) “What!? Are you talking to me?”
Chocoboy: “Tujhe mujhse koi problem hai kya?”
Me: (Wondering whether the guy is perpetually dumb and a total jerk or whether something is wrong with me. But I agree with the former…:p) “No! It’s nothing like that. I was busy doing my work. That’s why I didn’t notice you!” (God! I’m such a terrible liar)
Chocoboy: “Accha…! Wohi toh! Tu toh mera fraand hai na!” (keeping his hand on my shoulder.)
I thought…okay now I’ll have to take a bath with acid!
Act 1, Scene 2:
It’s a typical classroom scene. I’m engrossed in reading a novel. Just then I here the following conversation.
Skinny Girl: “Oh shits!” (mind it…the shit is plural and not singular. So here we go…SHITS!) “ Oh shits! Woh mujhe dekh raha hai! Main kya karu?” (As if Orlando Bloom or Hugh Jackman is looking at you! You shithead!)
*Note-The “Woh” in this context is the Chocoboy.
Fat Girl: “Arrey…tu usse dekh mat. Nahi toh usse lagega ki to usse bhaav de rahi hai. Ladko ko toh tadpana chahiye!” (with the typical bollywood tone...speaking as if she has done a PhD on boys.)
The skinny girl thinks that is the babe of the college...some celestial beauty. The fat girl is the most boisterous girl I’ve ever come across…she is soooo loud!!! These people really don’t have brains! They are so jobless. All they talk is nonsense. And yeah…how can I forget their grammatically incorrect English! I die laughing when they start speaking in English! By the way…all of them are from English medium!!! I’m not underestimating them! It’s just that these people are morons! Sometimes I feel like locking up all of them in a building and then blow it up!!
Act 1, Scene 3:
We have to segregate during the IT lecture. So I have to shift to Sarah’s class. Thank god that Sarah is in Mary’s…otherwise I would’ve been dead by now! IT lectures are always boring. And god only knows why the hell in the world the IT teacher targets me every time! *Argh!* Sarah and I are talking with each other. The conical pendulum (that’s the name we’ve given to the girl because of her ear rings which keep on oscillating forever!) and her friends start poking Sarah from behind. The other girl i.e. conical pendulum’s friend thinks that she is very “Chulbulee Ladki types”
Chulbulee Ladki type means…the typical girls from the serials…trying to act very innocent and blah blah blah! The one’s who maarofy typical dialogues. Eg. “Mere baba kehete hain ki hamein bahot mehenat karni chahiye!” and all that crap! Roflmao!
The chulbulee ladki continuously goes on poking Sarah.
Sarah: “What’s your problem?”
Chulbulee Ladki: “Kya hua?
Sarah: “Just stop it okay! Can’t you just shut up?”
Chulbulee Ladki: “Pant down.”
I and Sarah look at each other and laugh our asses out on the “Shut up pant down” thing! That was the line we used to say in the 1st standard! These people are so damn lame.
The IT teacher is teaching something about networking and internet. The Chocoboy cracks a dimwitted joke-“MTNL JADOO” and the whole class bursts out laughing except me and Sarah. That wasn’t even funny at all! Infact that stupid statement didn’t even qualify to be a sentence!!! For Christ’s sake shut up you friggin douche!
Act 1, Scene 4:
It’s the recess time now. Boys and girls are supposed to be millions of miles away from each other! But still, I and Sarah risk our lives and talk to each other and share our tiffins. All the students in the corridor try to turn their heads 360 degrees to stare at us as if we’ve committed a God forbidden crime! Then they start gossiping amongst themselves.
These people are such schmucks! I wish I could slap them!
***
I’ve survived in Mary’s just because of Sarah, Paritosh, Veneet and Ashish! If these people wouldn’t have been there with me…then I would have been dead ages ago! The ultimate pass time is to pass comments on all the wannabe people and criticizing the college which I personally enjoy a lot!! J *evil smile*!! Well! These are the jerks/morons whom I’ve to tolerate everyday! But the funniest part about it is that I love it because I get to laugh at them (I’m surely going to hell for this!!)…..
PS- There might have been parts where I’ve exaggerated and made it emphatic with an overstatement!! ;) :p…..